RR Phantom
Location : Wasted Space
Job/hobbies : Cayman Islands Actuary
 |  Subject: LOL, a majority have masturbated at work  Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:27 am | |
| Look, maybe it’s just the types of people I hang out with, but recent straw polls among my circle of friends have revealed a majority have masturbated at work. This includes not only me but also a few of the girls, one of whom says she’s even done it hands-free at her desk without her colleagues noticing. This isn’t as uncommon as you might think.
A survey of 1000 guys conducted two years ago by Glamour Magazine revealed 31 per cent have masturbated at the office. Among women, the rate is elusive since no poll of a decent sample size has been conducted recently.
Let’s assume, for argument’s sake, that the workplace masturbation rate of one-third is standard across both genders. When that statistic is compared with other surveys, what you find is more people masturbating in the workplace than those who fall asleep (29 per cent), steal office stationery (25 per cent), and arrive late once a week (16 per cent).
There’s a curious case from Brazil that takes this to the extreme. In 2011, a woman by the name of Ana Catarian Bezerra won the legal right to masturbate at work. This victory came after she took her employer to court, claiming a chemical imbalance resulted in a level of hyper-sexuality so high it could only be relieved by masturbating 47 times a day. With drugs and legal permission to do so, this was reduced to just 18 times a day.
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From an empirical perspective, there haven’t been any studies conducted exclusively on this matter. The Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity journal makes a minor reference to sex addicts who masturbate in the bathroom or at their desk. But our discussion today is less about some kind of solipsistic addiction and more about the natural human inclination for people to relieve themselves when the need arises.
Another analysis in the same journal refers to the difficulty in branding workplace masturbation as a form of harassment. Since it usually doesn’t involve other parties, it’s very tricky to accuse someone of acting inappropriately towards a colleague when it’s usually a private act done discretely.
More often than not, the toilet cubicle is the location of choice for the eager masturbator whose actions, it could be argued, are far less discomfiting to hear and smell than, say, those of a defecator.
In the book Masturbation: The History of a Great Terror, authors Jean Stengers and Anne van Neck chart the growing social acceptability of the act. They begin with masturbation’s first entry as an official term in a French dictionary, defined as “an act which is unfortunately as well known as it is shameful”.
The definition goes on to suggest that masturbation is responsible for many illnesses including troubles with the nervous system, physical weaknesses, intellectual numbness, hypochondria, insensitivity, moral degeneration, sadness and suicide. Seriously.
Thankfully today we know better. Just last month, for example, academics from the University of Sydney released their findings detailing the many benefits of masturbation. In particular, there is evidence to suggest it can prevent or reduce the risk of prostate cancer, diabetes, cervical infections and even depression.
From a workplace perspective, we’ll have to just presume the potential benefits in the absence of any reputable studies. Surely – and this is purely hypothesising – the diminished stress resulting from an orgasm (even a solitary one) would have flow-on effects on productivity, engagement and morale arising from the now-calmer and happier employees.
Granted, most people can think of nothing less arousing than their place of work but there are those whose libido is unaffected by their surroundings. So long as they clean up after themselves, why should they be denied a happy ending?
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/small-business/blogs/work-in-progress/a-happy-ending-at-work-20140124-31c7a.html#ixzz2rIKrmFLj
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