CovOps
 Location : Ether-Sphere
Job/hobbies : Irrationality Exterminator
Humor : Über Serious
 |  Subject: Funny: Overheard in New York  Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:14 pm | |
| It's Sad When Religious Differences Come Between People
Geeky girl to boy: And then I said, "that's probably a horcrux!" (laughs) Get it?
Boy: No. What's a horcrux?
Girl, scowling: Um...
Boy: What?
Girl: I'm sorry, but that's kind of a dealbreaker for me.
Boy: What is?
Girl: Oh my god! Not knowing what a horcrux is, obviously.
--Barnard College
Overheard by: Samantha
==================================
Um, I Meant Nellie Oleson.
Thug kid #1: Yo, I heard Nelly was a part of the Illuminati!
Thug kid #2: Yo, you know that's just shit they say to bring niggas down!
--1 Train
Overheard by: babylani
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What Would Nico Do?
Girl: I really like that song. It reminds me of something The Velvet Underground would do.
Guy: The Velvet Underground can suck my dick.
Girl, offended: Well, you can suck your dick!
--22 & 6th
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...Well It's Da Bomb, Anyway.
Hobo entering train: I just want y'all to know I got a bomb on this train! Ya hear me?! A bomb!
(woman slowly takes out her cell phone)
Hobo: Yo! I got a bomb on this train! Gimme money!
Thug: Yo, man, this dude's crazy, he ain't got no bomb! Where is it?!
Hobo: It's in my pants, mofo!
--6 Train
Overheard by: swizzle
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Guy: God, I've been with you for eight years. Go ahead and change already!
--Au Bon Pain, Union Square
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Girl to friend: Well, I'd say if the sex is good, it's about 20% of your relationship. If it's bad, it's more like 95%.
--Columbia University
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Man: Of course I would be the one to pick the girl allergic to latex!
--Broadway
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Girl on cell: He's a great guy and he wants to spend the rest if his life with me, but I've only just worked out that I want to spend the rest of my life with me.
--7th Ave & 28th St
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Stoner to orthodox Jew: Hanukkah? Marijuanica.
--St. Mark's Place
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Tourist mom, pointing towards Empire State Building: I think that's the Twin Towers.
--32nd & 5th
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Drunkish woman, looking at Empire State Building: I mean, the Empire isn't that nice. It's just well-lit and very, very tall.
--34th St & 8th Ave
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30-year-old on cell: Some tourist fuck was standing on 36th and 5th, looking at the Empire State Building, and he goes, "that's not that big!" I wanted to punch his fucking face in when he said that. If I wasn't with my nephew I might have...
--Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Dan
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Blond lady to husband, at the top of Empire State Building: Wow, this is like the view from our place!
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Angry lady in front of people calling for donations to the Salvation Army: Oh, no, don't you pull this shit with me!
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Black guy manning homeless charity table: Help feed the homeless! (sees hot black chick walking by) Damn, baby!
===========================
Guy on cell: I just went to the psychic and she says you're going to have a wonderful new start in Israel!
=========================
Teen girl to bored friend: No, I swear to god. It's like I've got a fifth sense or something. Psychic-kinesis. I can write words in my mind!
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20-something on phone: So I told her I started this thing where I read her horoscope in the morning, before I talk to her, to see if she'll have a good day or not, because she's so bipolar. I'm so over it.
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Guy to friend: He's like the size of a small child... Standing on the shoulders of another small child.
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Six-foot-four guy: It's not everyday a six-foot-four guy walks into her life.
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ANCAPS: ANARCHO-CAPITALISTS |
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