RR Phantom
Location : Wasted Space
Job/hobbies : Cayman Islands Actuary
 |  Subject: Funny: OZschwitz predictions for the Chinese year of the wabbit  Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:20 am | |
| 1) A newly elected Abbott government imposes a Wind Solar Power Tax (WSPT) to fund the repair of flood-damaged infrastructure used by the coal industry in Queensland.
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2) The PIGS group of heavily indebted countries (Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain) is renamed GIMPS after Macedonia asks for more assistance from the International Monetary Fund.
3) Woolworths, the nation's biggest pokie operator, launches its own Homebrand range of gambling machines in an attempt to boost margins.
4) Scores of currency traders complain of exhaustion due to the high number of parity parties. The dollar continues to hover around the $US1 mark.
5) Racehorse owner Gerry Harvey pushes for the introduction of a 10 per cent tax on the purchase of thoroughbreds on foreign websites.
6) Downer Group announces another delay to the delivery of its Waratah trains. Complains the Chinese-built trains have no English-language user manual.
7) Macquarie Group ditches its ''Holey Dollar'' (aka Silver Doughnut) logo. Reflecting the changes brought on by the financial crisis, adopts the ''dump'' part of a Spanish silver dollar as its new logo.
8) Economists are forced to adopt the term New New Normal to note how things are no longer as normal as they were in the New Normal.
9) The big four banks - Westpac, Commonwealth Bank, NAB and ANZ - announce that their borrowing costs face downward pressure. They warn that they may have to pass on the lower costs to home borrowers even before any official cuts to interest rates.
10) Frustrated at the regulatory obstacles in taking over another large mining company, BHP Billiton chief executive Marius Kloppers launches an $80 billion takeover of the Walt Disney Company.
11) New Zealand Prime Minister John Key declares a state of emergency and Kiwi dollar goes into freefall after All Blacks choke in quarter-finals of rugby World Cup.
12) Jetstar launches an offshoot subsidiary called Qantas.
13) Wesfarmers spins off its Coles supermarket arm, which later merges with Myer to create the retail powerhouse Coles Myer.
14) The Fortescue Metals chief executive, Andrew Forrest, reluctantly sells his stake in the miner to a Chinese takeover suitor for $9 billion in cash.
15) Foster's Group pushes on with the longest demerger in history by announcing plans to split its beer and wine businesses. The declaration comes a year after it announced plans to demerge its wine and beer units.
16) The investment banking industry, in an act of gratitude, decides to help bail out the US government by surrendering its bonuses for 2011.
17) The former Australian and Dutch domiciled James Hardie Industries signals plans to relocate from Ireland.
18) Australian Securities and Investments Commission chairman Tony D'Aloisio embarks on his biggest crackdown yet. He orders the largest print run ever of the watchdog's brochure Investing Between the Flags.
19) Australia Post chief executive and former NAB executive Ahmed Fahour launches his new fragrance, Eau de Postie.
20) News Corporation enjoys a surge in fourth quarter earnings on the back of its blockbuster movie Palin of Alaska and strong sales in Glenn Beck dolls.
http://www.smh.com.au/business/hot-tips-to-save-you-winding-up-as-a-bunny-this-year-20110130-1a9oe.html |
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