CovOps
 Location : Ether-Sphere
Job/hobbies : Irrationality Exterminator
Humor : Über Serious
 |  Subject: Funny: An economist's letter to Santa  Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:42 am | |
| Dear Santa,
I know you and your vertically-challenged production staff are busy manufacturing Tiger Woods' new doghouse and decorative tissue boxes for Florida Gator fans. But if I could have a moment of your time to request a few gifts — none directly for me or my family — but for my country, I would be ever grateful to you.
First, I apologize for being a hypocrite by writing this letter. I have never told my children that you exist because I wanted them to know that their gifts come from my hard work rather than a man flying around and dropping uninvited into people's homes. As a Libertarian Capitalist, I just can't stand by and let someone like you get all the credit for my labor efforts.
I now believe you must exist because the U.S. government has embarked on a campaign to give away so many gifts with nonexistent money to pay for them that there could only be one explanation for this wonderful plan: You are going to give it to Congress, for free, and the lawmakers will then give it to us.
While you are delivering free health care, free "cash for clunkers," free cash for people facing foreclosure, free cash for rich business people who have proved that a master's of business administration does not help one have a financially sound brain, I would like to add a few more items to your growing list:
Free copies of the U.S. Constitution in every stocking with the page that contains "the general-welfare clause" dog-eared. Upon reading this page on Christmas morning, millions of Americans will clearly see that the government has no authority to take money from their neighbors to give to them in the name of charity.
A framed portrait of Adam Smith, the father of modern economic thought. Please make sure there is a note that it is Adam Smith.
This will cause curious folks to Google his name and read that he taught all of us that the way we get good health care, good schools, nice clothes, eggnog, video games and a partridge in a pear tree is by having government create an environment where modest taxes and regulations encourage entrepreneurs to show up, create jobs and produce all of these things that are under our trees.
A copy of George Washington's final address to the American people, where he instructed us to avoid foreign entanglements, but to engage in free trade with other nations. Maybe you could staple this speech to a map of the world with highlights of the more than 100 nations where America currently has troops.
Perhaps then we could see that the best thing we could do to wind down the war on terrorism would be to stop showing up in other nations to begin with. Then they would have no reason to harbor the hate toward us that could lead to bombs falling down our chimneys some day.
A new trivia game titled "what does the government do better than the private sector?" In this game, the contestants would roll dice, then move a little statue of a politician to a spot on the board that has, for example, a picture of the post office next to an overnight delivery business; a private school next to a public school; government housing next to a private home; Interstate 4 next to a toll road … you get the idea?
Then, the player would have to read the back of a card that explained what he gets from each supplier. You would get to roll again if you accurately guessed which supplier is lazy, inefficient, monopolized, expensive and largely incompetent.
The winner of the game would receive fake money, of which the fake Internal Revenue Service would take half to fund fake government programs that have fake success.
I hope you will be able to fulfill most of these requests. If you do, you might get credit for, indeed, being the only true Santa Claus in the world. At this time, there are 535 politicians and a president who are trying to convince us that they, not you, are the providers of free stuff.
Merry Christmas.
Jack A. Chambless is an economics professor at Valencia Community College.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/os-ed-jack-chambless-122109-20091218,0,2441908.story |
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