How to tell if you're in a dysfunctional relationship

There are many ways to describe a relationship. A "good" relationship can be "healthy", or "fulfilling"; a "bad" relationship can be "abusive" or "soul destroying". I prefer "functional" versus "dysfunctional". The term "dysfunctional relationship" removes blame from either individual, and locates the pathology squarely in the dynamic. As someone who has been in all manner of dysfunctional and functional relationships, it resonates strongly. There are some people who bring out the best in me, and others who bring out the crazy, and I clearly do the same for them.

How to tell if you're in a dysfunctional relationship 81acd414242c69856b3c4cb9bdf15ee22e17b323

How to tell if you're in a dysfunctional relationship 81acd414242c69856b3c4cb9bdf15ee22e17b323

But how do we define a "dysfunctional" relationship?

Look online and there are a number of checklists to determine whether or not your relationship is dysfunctional. Most include specific behaviours: you fight dirty, you hold grudges, you assign blame, you make threats.

Now, clearly, it’s important to take stock of your behaviour in a relationship. It takes two to tango, and we all must take responsibility for our own contribution to the dynamic.

But because it takes two to tango, our own conduct within a relationship tells only part of the story. Our actions do not exist in a vacuum, they exist within the context of the relationship. I behaved in some pretty terrible ways when I was married (I certainly held grudges and I certainly assigned blame) but I was responding to a situation. I couldn’t change my behavior in isolation. The whole dynamic needed fixing.

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/how-to-tell-if-you-re-in-a-dysfunctional-relationship-20180514-p4zfa2.html

How to tell if you're in a dysfunctional relationship

How to tell if you're in a dysfunctional relationship

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