Funny: Love - without the moisturizer

Subject: Funny: Love - without the moisturizer Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:07 pm

I WAS disturbed to read two queries in a weekend magazine recently addressed to the "style guy". The first was "When should I apply moisturiser?" and the second was "How do I carry a man-bag?"

What is wrong with men these days? Is testosterone deficiency the new black?

When should you apply moisturiser? How about when your skin is dry? Are you really that stupid?

The second question was even more worrying. I'm not sure what a man-bag is. I can only assume that a handbag manufacturer made a bunch of bags that didn't appeal to women so it decided to re-name them man-bags and flog them to gullible men.

Two things worry me. First, that this ovine wonderboy bought one in the first place and, second, that he had to write to a newspaper asking how to carry it. How on earth did he get it home from the Man-Bag Emporium? Levitation? Telekinesis? Or did he have it home-delivered along with a bunch of pansies?

While I'm at it, what the hell are men wearing on their feet these days? In the central business district it seems that every second bloke in a suit is auditioning for the role of Sideshow Bob. Either that or they've stuck the head of a dead platypus on each foot.

These shoes are long and thin at the end but hey, stupid, your feet aren't. After a fortnight of wear the toes start flapping around like a wounded bat, making you look even more ridiculous. Have you ever tried walking around in flippers? It's not unlike a drunken pelican doing an impression of Basil Fawlty. Why don't you just stick your feet into a couple of Turkish pizzas? It would look less ridiculous, you could go for a stroll, perfume your feet and feed the pigeons at the same time.

"But it's the fashion," I hear you cry. Big whoop. Fashion is just an excuse for people with no imagination. Stop being a mindless sheep and think for yourself.

I've heard a lot of single women complaining about a lack of eligible men. They mean "real" men. Not some ponce they can discuss make-up and accessories with - that's what their girlfriends are for - but a bloke who will make them feel loved and protected. Is that you, skin-care flipper boy? Huh? Of course not. You're too busy rummaging around in your man-bag looking for your moisturiser.

LNK

Funny: Love - without the moisturizer

Funny: Love - without the moisturizer

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