Supposedly, This Is What Sex-Positive Parenting Really Looks Like

It happened yet again. As I was sitting at the table for dinner with my children, I noticed my daughter's hand fishing around under her skirt.

"We don't play with our vulvas at the table. Go wash your hands and finish your food," I scolded. She nodded, ran off to wash her hands, and resumed picking at her dinner instead.

Small children, they touch themselves. A lot. It's fascinating to them. And when you're a small child, you have no sense of shame or disgust or fear of your body. Your body is what it is. It does what it does. And everything that it does is kind of amazing, because you're not old enough for lower back pain. It's not sexual, it's just... fact.

The first time I caught one of my kids playing with their genitals, I said absolutely nothing. I was momentarily paralyzed with indecision. One thing I knew for a fact I did not want to do was to shout, "No!" or "Stop!" What good could that possibly do? Sure, I would be spared the awkwardness of catching my child playing with her genitals on the living room floor, but what kind of lesson is that? To fear or ignore your own vagina?

I thought about it almost constantly for two days, and of course she gave me a second chance to react.

"Sweetie, we don't play with our vulvas in the living room," I said. Which sounded ridiculous and strange, but nonetheless true. Why is everything with little kids "we" statements? "It's OK to touch your vulva, but people are private, and it's a private thing. The only places where you should touch your vulva are in the bathroom or in your bedroom. If you want to play with your vulva, please go to the bedroom."

More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lea-grover/this-is-what-sex-positive-parenting-really-looks-like_b_5516707.html

Why not at the table, living room, etc.?

Quote :: Telling children the truth about sex isn't giving permission for them to have it -- and this is the most important part -- because when the right time comes, nobody has the right to deny them permission for sex but themselves.

The time is, whenever they want it, not your artificial 'appropriate time.'

Quote :: Sex is something that ONLY happens when both people WANT it to happen.

Oh, so you restrict it to only 2 people.' How quaint.

Quote :: I don't get to tell my daughters they have to have sex, but I also don't get to tell them they can't.

But you do tell them NOT to...

Quote :: I never want to be responsible for setting the precedent that another person gets to tell them what to do with their bodies, and especially with their sexuality.

Damn, she's such an idiot...

Quote :: "We don't touch our vulvas at the table." It's absurd, but it's got all the important pieces. It's a micro-lesson in safety and consent and social propriety.

Pathetic.

CovOps wrote:

Quote :: Telling children the truth about sex isn't giving permission for them to have it -- and this is the most important part -- because when the right time comes, nobody has the right to deny them permission for sex but themselves.

The time is, whenever they want it, not your artificial 'appropriate time.'

I didn't take "when the right time comes" to mean he was imposing an "appropriate time."

I take it you didn't read the full article... there's a mention there of 'puberty.'

Also, the author is a female...

Supposedly, This Is What Sex-Positive Parenting Really Looks Like

Supposedly, This Is What Sex-Positive Parenting Really Looks Like

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